Sexual blockages are anything that stops you from experiencing the potential of your sexuality. These could include anorgasmia, vaginismus, premature ejaculation and impotence. Lack of sensitivity could also be included here, as well as sexual frustration and intimacy or connection issues.
Sexual blockages are extremely common. If you have one of these disorders, you know they are life altering. That is because your sexuality is at the very centre of what it means to be human. Conventional medicine does very little to address them. Women are told they have to accept they are anorgasmic, as western doctors dismiss it as superfluous.
I have experienced the devastating reality of sexual blockage too. Indeed, I understand how badly humans need to be able to access their sexual experience. When I was anorgasmic, not only did I miss out on sexual pleasure; my health suffered too.
You may find yourself turning to alternative methods that understand your sexual nature and energy. These methods, specifically from the Orient, addrese the importance sexual energy. Tantric massage is arguably the forerunner in this. Taoism is also becoming increasingly popular for it’s detailed sexology.
What is a Sexual Blockage?
Men and women tend to react differently, almost opposite, when they are sexually blocked. Women tend to become anorgasmic and the vagina can shut down (vaginismus). Men on the other hand tend to ejaculate prematurely, or find it difficult to maintain an erection. There can also be excessive need for sexual stimulation as the energy seeks to unblock. Often this is referred to as a high sex drive. Nymphomania is literally wanting lots of sex but not having an orgasm.
Of course their can be physical factors at play in this. If your blood and lymph flow is blocked, this keeps energy from entering the area. However there is almost always a psychological/spiritual aspect to this too. Physical blockages tend to manifest around energetic blockages.
Understanding the Autonomic Nervous System and Sexuality Link
One of the main factors in sexual dysfunction relates to what western medicine refers to as the Autonomic Nervous System. The ANS keeps the body calm but is always prepared for danger, and can quickly convert the body into ‘flight or fight’ mode. In this state, your body produces adrenaline which interferes with sexual functioning. This is called the Sympathetic Mode.
A problem arises when you get stuck in Sympathetic ANS mode constantly producing adrenaline. If you are a women, this results in inability to feel pleasure and orgasmic inhibition. If you are a man, this results in premature ejaculation and impotence. Your body will not waste time on sex in times of danger. It is no wonder many of my clients and bankers, consultants and business owners who cannot find time to relax.
Understanding Sexual Blockages Energetically
Looked at from an Eastern perspective, sexual blockages relate to the sacral chakra and to the Heart. As children our energy is constantly circulating and open. When we start to experience emotions that we don’t process, these start to accumulate as traumas in your body. Your energy flow starts to weaken and becomes blocked.
Many traumas are stored in the sexual area and desensitize the whole body. If you energy is blocked, you probably feel pain and numbness as well as lumps.
In it’s natural state your body should be pleasurable all. Orgasmic states would be easily reaches from gentle touch all over the body. If you are blocked, you body becomes desensitized. You probably will seek more stimulation to get more sensation. This will just further damage delicate nerve endings.
You can release these blockages, emotions and memories. I found that meditation and tantric massage were the best ways.
We live in a world that is externalized. We are always looking out, ignoring our own inner universe. Do you spend hours staring into the Television or screens? You may well also be oblivious to the world inside you. A big part of experiencing sexual pleasure will mean you stepping back into your body and truly inhabiting yourself.
You can try and shut our eyes and look into your body. Scan around and go over every area and connect with the sensation. Check out what is there. When you are experiencing sexual energy, turn your attention within. Don’t fantasise or watch porn, instead focus onto the sensations within your body. This is energy that radiates out from your sexual organs. This is your energy moving, an incredible experience to connect with.
Self Love and Sexual Healing
A big part of healing sexual blockages is to learn to love yourself. It is essential to nurture yourself, and give yourself respect. Whilst there are obvious forms of sexual abuse such as rape, any sexual experience can have a negative effect. Overwatching porn is a good example, as is any sexual activity that is not in alignment with your soul.
The Taoists say that during sexual experience it is important to turn the gaze inwards and experience the energy. Porn creates a habit of externalizing and also of having sexual experience without intimacy. This can be very attractive to a person who is blocked from intimacy, but the filling is ultimately always unfulfilling.
Creating a Relationship with your Body and Sexuality
My experience with sexual blockage lead me to the realization that part of healing is about creating a pure relationship myself. Your sexual nature is inextricably linked with who you are as a spiritual beings. This is about living from a place of self love and acceptance.
Your body is naturally so sensitive. You have many involuntary muscles that react to thoughts and effect your bodies functioning. This is why the Taoists focus so much on the power of the inner gaze. Your smile and of thoughts are powerful. The practices of Inner and Sexual Alchemy to keep the involuntary muscle functions healthy.
Your sexual organs are very delicate. Rough sex and masturbation can be traumatic and cause your nerves to shut down. Your bodies can go numb. This includes having sexual encounters with people we don’t know and are not connected with. It’s important also to acknowledge your feelings and have compassion for yourself. You need to treat your whole self with gentleness and love.
If you have sexual blockages, it’s common also to be blocked to intimacy. If you find it difficult to have a relationship or have sex with many partners and strangers, this is a sign of that block. Difficulty of talking about your feelings is also. What will actually help you to heal the blockage is connecting deeply with someone. Take time to get to know them and share your feelings. Before having sex, get your energies vibrating at the same frequency.
If you want to experience love and intimacy it’s important to get to know each other before experiencing sexual energy together. This is the basis of a healthy relationship. Love and gentleness along with self awareness will start to open up our bodies to healthy sexual functioning.
Reopening to the Flow of Life
If you want to clear sexual blockages, bear in mind this is a process of reopening the energy flow. It is about clearing out your old emotional toxins and traumas. Most of all, you need to reconnect with your body.
We live in a society where our emotional well being is often ignored. This has lead to a collective shut down of the healthy emotional functioning of the Heart. Reconnecting with your Hearts and your self love is fundamental. When you begin to cultivate and experience self love, your body feel loved. Your body will then start to behave as it should. This is how you open yourself up to be loved by others.
I was extremely sexually shut down when I got into Tantra and Taoism. That’s because was abused as a child and teenager and grew up in a strict religious family. I was completely anorgasmic which means that my sexual chakra was blocked. I went through a lot of pain experiencing the confusion of sexual blockage. It felt shameful and embarrassing because I did not feel like a whole woman.
I suffered with anxiety and insomnia. I felt lost in terms of my direction in life. My body was stiff and painful, something I had to manage to live with rather than enjoy. Then I discovered Sexual Alchemy. That changed my life. Through practicing the meditations I started to feel my energy awakening. My body changed, and I was filled with pleasurable electrical waves.
Before long I went from being anorgasmic to full body multi orgasmic. My pains went away and my body became fluid. Most importantly I began to manifest in my life and finally found the path. I realised, sex is more than just pleasure. Its the essence of life.
Staying Balanced in a Sex-Obsessed Society
We live in a society that is arguably sex obsessed. However, this is in a way that disconnects people from the true experience of sexuality. Anyone who has been or is sexually blocked knows that it’s not just a block of pleasure. It effects every part of your life.
If you are sexually empowered, you are empowered. I truly believe that most of the social ills of today will simply melt away if we balance our sexual energy. Your sexual and the spiritual selves are inseparable.
Sexual ecstacy is the pathway to spiritual connection. Every religion recognises this. I have experienced this in my own life and am passionate about sharing it with all beings.