There are numerous reasons why decent sex education for kids is essential. We live in a world of the internet and as parents we cannot deny the influence of the porn industry. This starts with young children. Do not delude yourself; your child could be watching porn.
You need to recognise that almost certainly he is getting sexual information from people who watch it, meaning peers and older children. Access is not restricted and they are growing up in a time very different from our childhood. In fact, innocence is almost non-existent.
The porn industry normalises the objectification and abuse of women. Many children from as young as 10 are accessing it. It has created a normalisation of sex devoid of love and mistreatment of women. As a parent you must be effectively countering this message, however that’s not an easy thing.
Talking to your kids about sex can seem a nightmare. What do you say? Especially if you don’t feel that you have your act together. No one wants to ruin the innocence of a child by giving them information they are not ready for. Yet as parents today it is essential that you provide both an example and reliable information that your child will trust.
Sex Education Starts Early With You Setting Yourself Up As the Information Authority
I want to make sure that my child will always come to me for information. Indeed, I have worked hard to cultivate a relationship of trust with her. I would always give her detailed answers for what she wants to know and spend time to show it matters. Indeed, I started this years before she was ever going to ask me any questions. I made sure to place myself into a position of authority for information.
Unashamedly I will admit that when the first sexual questions came up, it was awkward. I was embarrassed when, at around 5 years she started talking quite innocently to me about self-pleasuring. Undeniably, I was shocked, but I had to look at myself. Of course there was nothing wrong with what she was doing. In fact, I knew full well it was healthy for her to create a relationship with her sexuality.
The Need to Give Clear and Preceise Sex Education to Counter the Influence of Pornhub
I had to take and think about where my reaction came from. I was raised in a strict religious family. My mother had shamed me for my sexuality. I knew full well that I needed to work through my own issues around this. That was the only way I could have the confidence to be the one she relied on for her information.
Several years later the next question came. By then, I was ready to answer. I had worked through my own issues of shame so that I could clearly and unembarrasdly give her an answer. Children of course will pick up on if we are embarrassed or lacking confidence. This will lead them to listen to other children about what they saw on porn, and take this as the truth.
Let’s be real, you and I are in competition against a high-tech and highly influential media. We cannot underestimate the influence of highspeed internet Porn. It is an impressive medium, it’s bound ot impress. Many of the videos show sexual violence towards women as normal. These boys then behave in ways to girls that they think are normal but infact are abusive and even criminal.
The Need For Your Child To Feel And Experience Love
There is one thing that we as parents can do that will be the make or break in whether our child develops a healthy sexuality. That one thing is the experience of love. By this I mean, for the child to feel accepted and secure. We also need to encourage our children to be confident and actively respect and love themselves.
I believe that it’s essential that we give our children physical affection and listen and respect them from a young age. Cuddling produces oxytocin, the feel good hormone, Let’s face it, anyways, as humans we are hard-wired to be held and cuddled as children. Refusing affection to our children actually traumatises them about love.
The big danger of Porn is that it seperates sex from love. Your children can easily influence children if they grow up without the feeling of security that physical affection and being listened to provide.
Teach Your Son That Sex and Masturbation is Not About Ejaculation
Watching porn can easily lead one to believe that sex is all about the male ejaculation. If masturbation to porn becomes a habit, it will all be ejaculation focused. Your son entering into a sex world view that is all about his ejaculation could easily happen. Thinking this way will easily lead him to dangerous behaviour.
What will your son do if mid-foreplay, a girls asks him to stop? If she wants to stop during sex? If he is hardwired to think that sex is all about hsi ejaculation, will he stop?
It is also important for us parents to talk about masturbation. There is now an epidemic sexual problems caused by porn addiction. It is something that can easily happen because there is no warning about it. On the other had, getting to know our own bodies and pleasure is healthy.
Talk to Your Son About Masturbation as It’s how He Learns to Sexually Relate to Others
You can teach your son about the delicate anatomy of his sexual organs. Teach the importance of gentleness and respect. Sexual organs are easily desensitised and damaged with roughness. A man will treat the sexual organs of his partner as he treats his. If he violently grabs and jerks himself to ejaculate, how will he treat the woman in his life?
Statistics show an incredibly high number of women do not orgasm from sex with her partner. Women are going off of sex with their partners and relationships suffering. Women are not less sexual than men, just different. In fact women need a lot of foreplay to enjoy sex and can be very sexual and multi-orgasmic. You can tell yourself what you like, but good sex is key to a healthy relationship.
Your son needs to know how to approach a woman. Of course this has a lot to do with socialisation. Your relationship as parents and your relationship with them is key. A child who is loved and accepted will treat others accordingly.
When I was in school, sex education was all about diseases and unwanted pregnancy. It was about scaring us from doing it, but this simply didn’t work. We cannot preted that sex will jsut go away. That’s why we mst foster a healthy relationship in ourselves and our children.
As much as you don’t want your daughter getting raped, whether accused or not, do you want your son abusing women?