breathe during sex

How to breathe during sex?  It’s such a simple question that few people even ask it.  Yet as a sex coach and bodyworker, I cannot emphasize enough how important breath is.  Shallow breathing is terrible for your whole body, specifically your respiratory system and Heart. 

When it comes to sex, how you breathe is one of the most important factors for how it goes.  For men, it’s the decisive factor in being in control of how long you can give and experience pleasure.  For women, it has a huge amount to do with how much you can orgasm.

Science of Breathing

You should understand why your breathing is so important, not just for your health but for sexual satisfaction. 

Let’s have a look at the science.  Your Lungs are in the top of your chest, under the rib cage.  In between the ribs are muscles called the intercostal muscles.  At the bottom of the rib cage is a muscle called the thoracic diaphragm.

breathe during sex

How to Breathe During Sex

It’s important to understand this because your breathing and heart rate is governed by your autonomic nervous system.  The ANS regulates how your body functions based on perceived threats.  In other words, if you are in flight or fight mode or relax and enjoy mode.

These are ancient functions that suited our bodies well; in the stone age.  However our bodies have not changed today despite huge changes in living conditions.  This means that if you are stressed, your body believes that it’s running from a tiger in the jungle.  Obviously then it won’t prioritise having sex.

This will actually cause the man to ejaculate as quick as possible, and cause the woman not to orgasm.

How not to Breath During Sex: Breathing in Flight or Fight Mode

When you are in flight or fight, you breathe high up in your chest.  In relax and enjoy you breathe into our belly.

Imagine, back in the day, in the jungle, your ancestors saw a tiger.  The ANS immediately kicks in and the adrenal glands start to over produce adrenaline.  The heart rate and breathing increases so that our ancestors suddenly had super human strength to escape.

Fast forward 10,000 years and we have the same bodies, but we live in the age of technology.  Stress at work combined with general ineptitude at dealing with emotions has lead to a society of ill-adapted and stressed people.  We don’t know when to panic and run and when to relax and enjoy.  Stuck in this state of confusion, we are seeing record mental illness and sexual problems.

Out-Witting the Autonomic Nervous System

It’s a no-brainer that stress effects how you have sex.  So let’s look at what is going on in your bodies when you are stressed.  Invariably, if you are stressed you will find that your breathing is shallow.  In fact, this is one of the reasons why stress is so bad for us.

However, you can easily take control of your ANS and convince it that everything is fine.  In doing so, you won’t just get more from your body, you actually relax in the process.

That simple trick is to breathe into your belly.

How to Practice Belly Breathing

Breathing into you belly may sound simpler than it actually is.  In fact, you may well struggle with it.  That’s because, through habitual shallow breathing, the thoracic diaphragm stops working properly.  If you want it to get going, you need to exercise it.

Practicing belly breathing is the most basic meditation that you can do.  By basic I actually mean that if you have not mastered it, you should not do any other kind of meditation.  On the other hand, it’s so simple and once you get it becomes really fun and pleasurable.

To practice it, the key is for you to relax and lie down.  Have a shake off or dance at the beginning, that will help to loosen your body.  Lie down and you can put a book on your belly.  Start to breathe so that the book is going up and down.  If you need to push it at first, then do that, but the idea is for you to relax and the breathing moves on it’s own.

How to Breathe During Sex

When you are sexually aroused, it’s easy for your breathing to get lost.  That’s why it’s important to practice so that belly breathing becomes second nature to you.  You need to be able to get to that state easily and feel comfortable in it.

When you start to have sex, make sure you go really slow.  Slow down with your mind and slow down your breathing.  Breathe deeply and with long breaths.  Instead of rushing, stop to feel.  You will find you are becoming much more sensitive to pleasure, whilst remaining in control.

You can experiment with sex as a meditation.  This allows you to fully feel the pleausure and to expand it.  This is how you can start to experience full body orgasms and multiple orgasms.  It’s how men can take control of how long they last and how women can get more orgasms.

What Happens to My Clients

I have a lot of complex exercises that I can give my clients.  Yet time and again I find the most simple is the most effective.  People overcomplicate things for themselves by trying too much.

Put simply, all you need to do is breathe.

 

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