Are you wondering how emotions effect sex? Your feelings actually have a huge influence on how you experience sex and intimacy. This is even the case if you do a very good job of bottling up how you feel. Actually, sex is exactly when these repressed feelings can and will come back to haunt you.
One of the hallmarks of our society is indeed a lack of healthy emotional processing and relating. Most people are taught to repress uncomfortable emotions, hoping that they will go away. Truth is that often our emotions will remain inside, only to resurface at the most awkward moment.
How do you deal with your emotions? Indeed, you may well be able to experience negative emotions without being overwhelmed. However, if you are like most people, you probably try to push them away and ignore them. Like a dead mouse rotting in the back of the cupboard, they literally start to cause havoc.
My Emotional and Sexual Teenage Havoc
I can tell you that I have been through this whole process, like a toy being dragged backwards through a hedge. Like more people, I grew up with no advice on dealing with my emotions in a healthy way. Indeed, I tried to repress and run away from negative feelings.
Truth is that it left me emotionally volatile and completely numb. Actually, when I first started to have sex, I felt virtually no pleasure. However, I did find myself being blown about by uncomfortable feelings that I could not understand. I would find myself falling in love, then overwhelmed by emotions, that would leave me running away and hiding.
I spent my teenage years in what I would describe as an emotional and sexual turmoil. Looking back, I cannot deny that my unhealthy emotional state was simply reflecting in my sexuality. I never have an orgasm during my teenage years and I don’t remember feeling anything really inside my vagina. In fact, although my partner loved touching my clitoris, it didn’t even feel nice! I didn’t have the confidence to say anything about that either.
In my twenties, I started to realise that I had a problem. It was then that I started to explore my emotional and sexual chaos. In fact, I slowly saw the connection between my numbness and my repressed emotions. I realised that the more I repressed my feelings, the more I was damping down my ability to feel. I mean my ability to feel pleasure.
How Emotions Effect Sex and How You Can Master Them
How do you deal with your emotions? Do you happily embrace your anger or do you repress it? I will be honest that most sexual problems ultimately come down to emotional issues. Premature ejaculation and anorgasmia are rife.
If you are a man, do you know that inability to control when you ejaculate isn’t about your pelvic floor, it’s about your emotions. If you are a woman, your ability to orgasm is all about your relationship with your emotions.
There’s a simple reason for this. Your body’s involuntary functioning is actually regulated by your autonomic nervous system. Your ANS decides if you are safe or in danger. If you are safe, it will allow you to enjoy long sex and lots of orgasms. If your ANS perceives danger, it will protect you by stopping you from having sex.
Indeed, If you are full or repressed and unresolved emotions, your ANS will perceive danger. That’s why it’s so important to find healthy ways to deal with your emotions. I tried psychotherapy to little use. It was only when I discovered Emotional Alchemy Meditation that things started to change. As I released my emotions, my body opened up to pleasure. I started to experience the multiple orgasms that were natural to me.
If you are feeling that you have no mastery over when you orgasm, know that there is an answer. Your body is just trying to protect you. The answer is lying inside you. You need to get in touch with your emotions. Once you cleared your repressed emotions, you will find that your body is doing just what you want.